Here is one of the many letters that we get back, and it literally warms my heart knowing that I was a little piece of this miracle.
This particular letter is from S.R. after the birth of her son.
If you are visiting this website, chances are that you or someone you care about is struggling with infertility. After experiencing three years of failed fertility treatments, we can certainly identify with the emotional roller coaster you may be riding. We hope that by sharing our incredible journey to parenthood, we will in some way help other families achieve the happiness we have found. Every "success story" we heard ultimately gave us the hope, faith, and courage we needed to trust someone with the most incredible responsibility imaginable.
After a few months of desperately trying to conceive the old fashioned way, my husband and I learned that we would require medical treatment to assist us in our reproductive efforts. After several unsuccessful IVF cycles (and a few other medical disasters), we began considering other options for growing our family.
We attended an education weekend. We met a couple at the seminar who shared that they were simultaneously investigating surrogacy. They provided us with a website address and telephone number for Canadian Surrogacy Options. Needless to say, we immediately got in contact with Joanne Wright. One of the appealing things for us about surrogacy was the opportunity to share the pregnancy experience with a surrogate. While carrying a baby in my heart instead of my tummy was admittedly my second choice, as things turned out for us, it was in no way second best.
Joanne instantly instilled hope and confidence in us. She was warm, friendly, and easy to talk to. My husband and I wrote a letter detailing our circumstances and our struggle for parenthood. After assessing our needs and priorities, Joanne began forwarding us profiles of potential gestational carriers. While I presumed I wouldn't be drawn to one person over another based on a written profile, I surprisingly dismissed many potential carriers based on the information they shared. In fact, after reading the profiles, I began questioning whether or not I would ever feel comfortable trusting a virtual stranger with the most important thing in the world to me. After a few weeks of searching through profiles, one piece of writing jumped out at me. I was instantly intrigued when one woman wrote all about her involvement in her daughter's school. As a teacher, I had my own experiences to draw upon. I thought about all of the involved and committed mothers who volunteered at the school I taught at. Before telling Joanne I was potentially interested in contacting this person, I asked Joanne if there was anyone she thought would be a perfect fit for us. When Joanne suggested the same woman I was drawn to, it confirmed to me that I needed to contact this person as soon as possible. I asked Joanne to check whether a phone call or an email would be best as an initial form of contact. When I was given the green light to phone, I was nervous and excited at the same time. Our first conversation lasted several hours. We shared many details about our lives and our families, and the conversation
flowed effortlessly.
After speaking on the phone on a daily basis for approximately six weeks, we decided to meet. My husband and I travelled to Toronto to meet our new friend, her husband, and her young baby. We had an incredible weekend together. We went out for breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and coffees. We bonded as families that weekend, and when we all separated that Monday evening, there was no doubt in any of our minds that we all wanted to proceed with the process. My husband and I discussed that we were ultimately taking a leap of faith by entrusting this person we had known for only a short time, but we both had strong intuitions that she was trustworthy, kind, and committed to helping us. She appeared to be worthy of the kind of faith we had in
each other.
My husband and I thank our lucky stars every day that our paths crossed with the amazing person who carried our miracle baby for nine months. Our pregnancy was very much a shared experience. My husband and I were able to attend our embryo transfer, the first ultrasound, and countless appointments after. I went maternity clothes shopping with our gestational carrier, and we spoke on the phone and emailed on a daily basis. We exchanged journals at the beginning of the process, recorded our thoughts and feelings throughout the pregnancy, and traded back journals at the end. My husband and I were present for the delivery of our son, and my husband was given the incredible honour of cutting the umbilical cord. Our pregnancy was honestly everything we hoped for and more, much like our son.
In anticipation of the dreaded question, where do babies come from?, I wrote a poem for my unborn child while our gestational carrier was pregnant. Inspired by a poetry project a colleague did with her classroom, I titled my poem "You Came From..." My poem details many special memories from my husband's childhood, my childhood, our life together, and all of the miracles that came into place to allow our child to be born. I also chose to include certain quotes that helped us cope during our journey with infertility. As you perservere, it may be helpful to keep these things in mind:
With love and patience, nothing is impossible
There is no shortcut to any place worth going
Believe in miracles
Prior to our experience with surrogacy, my husband and I were astounded that there were people in this world who were willing to sacrifice so much of themselves to fulfill another family's dream of having children. After sharing in the pregnancy and birth of our son, I can honestly tell you that such a person truly exists. Six months after the birth of our son, my husband and I continue to be in awe of our gestational carrier's courage, strength, and generosity. She has given us the most extraordinary gift, and we are forever grateful to her.
