ohhhh So exciting…!! Can’t Wait to read what our SecretSurro has to say this week!!!
If there’s one consistency I’ve heard from every surrogate I’ve come across, it’s that patience is always in short supply. One CSO staff humorously used the phrase “notoriously impatient” for surrogates, and I found myself fitting perfectly into that accurate description. “Hurry up and wait” is my unofficial surrogates motto. Practicing patience has never been my forte, but when this journey has so many personal implications on all factors of my life, the amount of patience I may have in my day to day life vanishes completely.
This journey by default has built-in periods of waiting. It’s not a process that can be rushed, and there’s a purpose to the pace. Even when we’d rather know everything there is to know right now, in exactly this moment.
Despite the ample opportunities to practice (im)patience, the painful period between emailing those intended parents that have caught my heart, and waiting to hear their reply takes the impatience prize. “Will they like me? What if they don’t think I’m the right one? What’s next for me if it’s a ‘no thank you?’” Once I knew my profile was in their hands, I was finding every excuse to walk by my computer and check my mail icon. If an iPhone’s refresh button could wear out from overuse, mine would have been. Pacing, finger drumming, checking again, more pacing. Starting an email to Robyn, and walking away half way thinking, “they just got it, I don’t want to bug her. I’ll sleep on it. They’re probably sleeping on it.”
I cave the next morning. I’m dying. The enormity of the decision they have on their hands doesn’t escape me, so I keep it light. “Is it normal for me to incessantly be checking my email. Every five minutes? All day long?”
I can hear the laughter coming from the next email. “I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
But then comes the yes, that wonderful yes. It’s a giant relief and a tingling excitement that they want to move forward, start emailing, and get to know each other.
…..Now I just need to wait for their email…
Thank you SecretSurro!! I know I can’t wait til your next entry!!!