She’s back! Our SecretSurro is back with another entry!
I know I’m excited to keep reading her journey…!!
The pre-transfer jitters are hard to describe.
It’s this mix of eagerness and anticipation, with nervousness and excitement all rolled in at the same time. This transfer day has felt like a day that was meant to be, and there is an almost eery confidence that this is the transfer is the one that is going to take. The confidence I’m feeling is in some ways adding to my nerves; this morning I will walk into a clinic not remotely one bit pregnant, and I will walk out of it Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.
I head down to the clinic and meet Intended Mom there, and I think I can see some of the same emotions I have bubbling under the surface for her. The clinic is behind a bit, which is the norm, and I’m happy to have company during the nervous wait. I have to remind myself that being calm and remembering to breathe is the necessary for this process. The extra build up time is really not helping.
Finally, I’m up. Everything goes exactly as planned, and from one moment to the next, I am responsible for two people, not just myself. I’m breathing for two people. I’m taking my necessary meds and resting and caring for two people.
In the rest time after transfer, I find myself directing all my feelings and emotions to this tiny embryo entrusted to me. I’m speaking all my thoughts to it, asking that it stick, asking that it stay, and sharing how much love is already waiting for them out here on the other side.
Intended mom and I exchange a look.
Now we wait.
Two weeks till BETAs, and we’re counting.
Thank you SecretSurro!! We can’t wait for your next entry!