Yay!! Another Entry from SecretSurro to start the weekend!!
Tonight is about pie. And personal questions.
My intended dad and I share a sweet tooth, and so we’ve determined that I’ll make a pie for dessert for dinner at their house. I love cooking, but this is the first time I’ve actually made a pie – desserts aren’t my strong suit. But I couldn’t resist the alliteration when I asked my Intended Mom if we could do a “Pie and Personal Questions” night, dubbed “P&P.”
We show up with pie attempt #2. Number one was inedible due to unbearable sweetness, and I heave a big sigh of relief that I had a backup in the pipes. They made chicken parmesan, a fave of ours and fall comfortably into generally chatting. As much as we’ve chatted quite a bit, and we’re excited about moving forward, I know before we can move to testing we need to get out some nitty gritty. They’ll want to know why AM I becoming a surrogate? (I have a fairly considered answer to that, but it still feels like a lot to explain to someone else). My hubby and I wonder how the challenges in their journey have moved them to this point? I still have so much to learn, but I want to know about the technical parts of their (our?) position too. Do they have embryos? How long would we be waiting if they don’t? And if a transfer fails, do we all want to try again?
Hard questions are hard. Maybe they’ll be easier with pie.
We finish dinner without having broached any of the necessary personal questions yet. I’m gearing up to open my mouth when Dad asks, “So, how did you hear about CSO?” I let out a nervous laugh, but feel inexplicably jittery getting to the details. I feel emotional recounting all of my whys, and I’m actually a little shaky in the voice. I didn’t expect this. There are many moments that I expected big feelings. There are those typical landmark moments that warrant emotions to bubble up. First heartbeat, first positive blood work, gender reveals and announcements. Those moments are when I expected the emotion. But talking about my why, and them talking about how much they’ve experienced in their journey, and I’m left shaken.
With every answer, I feel reassurance, and the more openly we talk the more comfortable I feel. These are my people, these are my intended parents, and I can’t wait to get started with them.
After this slice of pie.