My screening schedule is a whirlwind. Over supper, I travel to the clinic in another city and have a late night insurance meeting. Counselling starts fist thing the next day, then the medical portion of my screening starts mid-morning. I am on my way back home by mid-afternoon. Safe to say, I’m not expecting any down time.
Aside from some nerves at the tight schedule, I have a fair amount of nerves about this screening process itself. In the days leading up to screening I’ve realized that not getting medical clearance would be a pretty obvious standstill to this journey of mine. Now that I’ve pulled the trigger and have my IPs, I’m basically going to have to be hi-jacked off this path I’m on. But screening could include a realization that my body isn’t for some reason compatible, and this could be the end. So there are some nerves.
Nothing actually goes smoothly. In my worry to catch my transit, it slips my mind to pay for parking, and I have to find a panicked online payment method (thank you wifi). I have to change my travel plans last minute when there’s a transit issue, and I get to my hotel later than I thought I would for my insurance meeting. I don’t know that stressed is the best way to go into an early morning counselling session…..
My chat with the counsellor actually is a great kick off to my morning. I love a good opportunity to hear someone’s story, and to tell a bit of mine. She’s very kind, and gracious, and it’s a great start to screening day. It’s great to feel heard.
My highlight though comes with my time with the Medical Director. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but a 20 minute sit down with the director wasn’t on the list. At least, this level of discussion wasn’t on my expected list. We talked about my adored intended parents, about my own prenatal history, and about what my protocol might look like. I had some specific requests for medications, as did he, and we went back and forth. He mentioned a recent study he had read, affirming my request for one med above another, but I got a pushback when I requested to miss a different one. I feel like we’ve reached compromise, so I concede. And I can’t pretend to know the formula that goes into producing this anticipated little one, the actual alchemy of bringing this hoped for babe into the world with a whole lotta love and a whole lotta science. But still, I appreciate feeling heard.
I’m more tired coming back than I am going, but I have a go-ahead for next steps.
It’s getting real.
Thank you SecretSurro! These entries sure are so insightful as to your emotions and your ‘mindspace’ during all of this!!! We love reading them!!